Community of Sexsoundlovers

Quadrophenia1 wrote:

dxm2 wrote:most women will go out of their way tell other women who is terrible or great in the sex. 85% of the sex I have is either with women I have been with, or women who have heard good things about me prior to me hooking up with them.

This is where "nerds" or shy loner types with little experience with women have a GIGANTIC disadvantage. I went through a incredibly long dry spell when I was a young man. It seemed that no girl on the face of the EARTH was the least bit interested in me or affectionate towards me. However....... the very minute I got involved in an actual relationship with a girl for the first time in years...... all of a sudden, DOZENS of women were flirting with me and coming on to me all at once. It pissed me off to no end and I'll never forget it for the rest of my life. That's the way women seem to operate.

Women are attracted MORE than anything to confidence and a guy that has "got it together" so to speak. So when you ere in an actual relationship with a woman you were fond of, your confidence and self esteem likely skyrocketed as a result which drew other women to you.... They can sense those types of things

erotoman6815 wrote:

Quadrophenia1 wrote:

dxm2 wrote:most women will go out of their way tell other women who is terrible or great in the sex. 85% of the sex I have is either with women I have been with, or women who have heard good things about me prior to me hooking up with them.

This is where "nerds" or shy loner types with little experience with women have a GIGANTIC disadvantage. I went through a incredibly long dry spell when I was a young man. It seemed that no girl on the face of the EARTH was the least bit interested in me or affectionate towards me. However....... the very minute I got involved in an actual relationship with a girl for the first time in years...... all of a sudden, DOZENS of women were flirting with me and coming on to me all at once. It pissed me off to no end and I'll never forget it for the rest of my life. That's the way women seem to operate.

Women are attracted MORE than anything to confidence and a guy that has "got it together" so to speak. So when you ere in an actual relationship with a woman you were fond of, your confidence and self esteem likely skyrocketed as a result which drew other women to you.... They can sense those types of things

Very, very true.

Some personal history: I've always looked really young for my age, which is nice now but back when I was a teenager made me really self-conscious. I think back to how I asked out girls when I was 18, and the way I did it I was practically apologizing for not being cooler/sexier/better looking. It's amazing any of them said yes, but even those that didn't weren't very interested in making out with me, let alone having sex. Then one summer at university I played in a band and we did some minor dive-bar touring, and suddenly women who didn't know me were interested after gigs. By the time I returned to classes in the fall I actually went the opposite direction, and had it in my head that I was God's gift to women. And sure enough, girls who hadn't seen me play in the band suddenly started saying yes. Nothing about me had changed, really, except my confidence, and somehow girls could just tell.

(The "I'm God's GIft to Women" phase, btw, can also be rightfully called the "When DXM was the Absolute Worst Lover on the Planet" phase.)

dxm2 wrote:Some personal history:

Very interesting to hear about your background as a seducer:)
The question I also wanted to ask you, which is connected with the subject discussing - how was you developing as a lover? I mean, now you are a real expert in sex. Tell us something about the way to this point from the

dxm2 wrote:"When DXM was the Absolute Worst Lover on the Planet" phase.

How much time (or ladies ) did you need to improve it?

d2009sd2009s wrote: The question I also wanted to ask you, which is connected with the subject discussing - how was you developing as a lover?

"When DXM was the Absolute Worst Lover on the Planet" phase." How much time (or ladies ) did you need to improve it?

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Actually, it took just one. I asked afterwards how she enjoyed it, expecting to hear that I was great because that's what women always said when I asked. But this one said, "It was OK." It really upset me, and so I pressed to find out why I just got an OK, and as she explained it to me it sounded like the "ok" was actually very generous scoring. Over the next few weeks when I would run into women who were lovers but also good friends, I pressed them and they all confessed that they had told me "great" because they assumed that's what they were supposed to say.

I was really mortified, since like I said I thought I was God's gift to women. So I asked one of my friends who was an occasional lover to spend and afternoon in bed with me and honestly teach me what she liked and what she didn't like. She was the first person who ever told me the real truth about cunnilingus: that there is no one "right way" to do it, that different women have different levels of sensitivity/irritation, and that different women are driven crazy by different techniques, and that if you want to be good you have to both learn all of the techniques and learn how to "listen" with all of your senses in real time to figure out what an individual woman likes/dislikes. And then after that the floodgates kind of opened, and I began to learn that what my friend taught me about oral sex was true about everything sexual: different people get turned on by different things, different styles/speeds/positions while fucking, etc. It seems so obvious, obviously, but I really didn't get it until then.

So the truth about how I learned about sex is that I did so in the traditional way people learn about anything in depth: I went the nerd route. Researched through reading, observing, asking questions, showing sincere gratitude to any woman who taught me something about their own person likes and dislikes.

It was maybe 2 or 3 years after that first "okay" response that I began to notice that women I would sleep for the first time started calling or showing up unannounced the fallowing day(s) looking to have more sex.

But I still approach each new person I have relations with as someone that has had some other guy in their past do something that drove them wild that I have never figured out you can/should do, and it's my job to figure out what that is so I can use it with them and women in the future.

It was quite interesting and instructive to read this. Thanks for the excursion:)