You wouldn't believe some of the things I've heard over the years as I climbed down chimneys to deliver presents. The trouble is that with millions of houses to visit in a single night, I don't get to stick around for as long as I'd like to. One of the more enterprising elves suggested that I might recruit a pervy little helper, and so with two weeks to go until Christmas, I'm hiring.
Much as I'd love to hire every member of your community, these are tough times economically speaking, so there can only be one pervy little helper. All you have to do to be considered for the role is write SSLanta a letter explaining why you're the member of SSL who is best suited to the job. You could be an experienced sexsoundlover whose recordings would benefit from a hardware upgrade, a fresh-faced sexsoundlover, a traveling sexsoundlover like myself, or anything in between. I receive zillions of letters every year, so the important thing is that yours cuts through the spam filter and captures my imagination.
The successful applicant will receive a mint condition Olympus DM670 recorder, which will do a sterling job of capturing almost any antics they'd dare to place it near. Milk and cookies are not included.
Closing date for applications is 26/12/2014, because this year, I'm taking Christmas day off and spending it with Mrs Claus - if you catch my drift
